Sharing The Best Resources & Tools

CAROLE AND NADIM SAAD, CO-FOUNDERS OF BEST OF PARENTING

As the parents of three children, struggling like so many others to find a balanced and effective parenting style, we turned away from all the parenting fads and studied the hard scientific evidence on what really works. The techniques we learnt were so life changing, yet so straightforward, that we made it our mission to convert them into powerful step by step tools and make them available to parents world over. Read more about the philosophy behind Best of Parenting.

Sharing The Best Resources & Tools

CAROLE AND NADIM SAAD, CO-FOUNDERS OF BEST OF PARENTING

As the parents of three children, struggling like so many others to find a balanced and effective parenting style, we turned away from all the parenting fads and studied the hard scientific evidence on what really works. The techniques we learnt were so life changing, yet so straightforward, that we made it our mission to convert them into powerful step by step tools and make them available to parents world over. Read more about the philosophy behind Best of Parenting.

Using threatening behaviour

January 1st, 2014 | Defiance | 3 to 6 years | Short Tips and Quotes | Negative Behaviour |

Witnessing our children being mean or vengeful over others can be both traumatic and embarrassing. Why are they being so monstrous? But sometimes children use force to get what they want simply because it seems the most direct way. And children pick up bad habits from all over the place: including other kids, TV, school or even adults. But once they understand that bullies aren’t popular they are likely to take a more peaceful route.

Here is a sample of some of our easy and effective tools for solving this issue

This works really well:

SET A RULE

  • Clear, fair and well-explained rules form the framework to civilised society, as well as the microcosm that is a family!
  • Make sure that the rule you set applies to everyone in the family, not just the child in question.
  • For example: “Violence and intimidation is not tolerated in this house.” or “In our family we ask for things in a kind voice rather than by using threats.”
  • Avoid setting the rule in the heat of the moment lest it be confused with a punishment and lose its lasting significance.

Then try this:

“I FEEL” MESSAGE

  • Let your child know how you feel about seeing him or her mistreating yourself/others, but do so without blaming or shaming. Your message will encourage your child to stop and think about his or her behaviour.
  • For example “When you speak to me/others like this, I feel distressed. It is offensive to try to get what you want through intimidation. You wouldn’t want  anyone to treat you like that either, so I’d like you to stop now.”

You can also try this:

“I” STATEMENT

  • Now is the time to make a statement that you can actually enforce.
  • Your statement needs to start with an “I” or “my” (or if speaking for the family or couple, a “we” or “our”). For example: “I talk to children who speak to me/others respectfully.”
  • Then wait until your child speaks to you respectfully before addressing or helping him or her.

 

These are just a few examples of our Best of Parenting Tools. You can find more ideas and solutions to typical parenting challenges in our book ‘Kids Don’t Come With a Manual – The Essential Guide to a Happy Family Life‘. 

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Using threatening behaviour

January 1st, 2014 | Defiance | 3 to 6 years | Negative Behaviour |

Witnessing our children being mean or vengeful over others can be both traumatic and embarrassing. Why are they being so monstrous? But sometimes children use force to get what they want simply because it seems the most direct way. And children pick up bad habits from all over the place: including other kids, TV, school or even adults. But once they understand that bullies aren’t popular they are likely to take a more peaceful route.

Here is a sample of some of our easy and effective tools for solving this issue

This works really well:

SET A RULE

  • Clear, fair and well-explained rules form the framework to civilised society, as well as the microcosm that is a family!
  • Make sure that the rule you set applies to everyone in the family, not just the child in question.
  • For example: “Violence and intimidation is not tolerated in this house.” or “In our family we ask for things in a kind voice rather than by using threats.”
  • Avoid setting the rule in the heat of the moment lest it be confused with a punishment and lose its lasting significance.

Then try this:

“I FEEL” MESSAGE

  • Let your child know how you feel about seeing him or her mistreating yourself/others, but do so without blaming or shaming. Your message will encourage your child to stop and think about his or her behaviour.
  • For example “When you speak to me/others like this, I feel distressed. It is offensive to try to get what you want through intimidation. You wouldn’t want  anyone to treat you like that either, so I’d like you to stop now.”

You can also try this:

“I” STATEMENT

  • Now is the time to make a statement that you can actually enforce.
  • Your statement needs to start with an “I” or “my” (or if speaking for the family or couple, a “we” or “our”). For example: “I talk to children who speak to me/others respectfully.”
  • Then wait until your child speaks to you respectfully before addressing or helping him or her.

 

These are just a few examples of our Best of Parenting Tools. You can find more ideas and solutions to typical parenting challenges in our book ‘Kids Don’t Come With a Manual – The Essential Guide to a Happy Family Life‘. 

Loading...

Using threatening behaviour

January 1st, 2014 | Defiance | 3 to 6 years | Short Tips and Quotes | Negative Behaviour |

Witnessing our children being mean or vengeful over others can be both traumatic and embarrassing. Why are they being so monstrous? But sometimes children use force to get what they want simply because it seems the most direct way. And children pick up bad habits from all over the place: including other kids, TV, school or even adults. But once they understand that bullies aren’t popular they are likely to take a more peaceful route.

Here is a sample of some of our easy and effective tools for solving this issue

This works really well:

SET A RULE

  • Clear, fair and well-explained rules form the framework to civilised society, as well as the microcosm that is a family!
  • Make sure that the rule you set applies to everyone in the family, not just the child in question.
  • For example: “Violence and intimidation is not tolerated in this house.” or “In our family we ask for things in a kind voice rather than by using threats.”
  • Avoid setting the rule in the heat of the moment lest it be confused with a punishment and lose its lasting significance.

Then try this:

“I FEEL” MESSAGE

  • Let your child know how you feel about seeing him or her mistreating yourself/others, but do so without blaming or shaming. Your message will encourage your child to stop and think about his or her behaviour.
  • For example “When you speak to me/others like this, I feel distressed. It is offensive to try to get what you want through intimidation. You wouldn’t want  anyone to treat you like that either, so I’d like you to stop now.”

You can also try this:

“I” STATEMENT

  • Now is the time to make a statement that you can actually enforce.
  • Your statement needs to start with an “I” or “my” (or if speaking for the family or couple, a “we” or “our”). For example: “I talk to children who speak to me/others respectfully.”
  • Then wait until your child speaks to you respectfully before addressing or helping him or her.

 

These are just a few examples of our Best of Parenting Tools. You can find more ideas and solutions to typical parenting challenges in our book ‘Kids Don’t Come With a Manual – The Essential Guide to a Happy Family Life‘. 

Loading...
Related articles: