Sharing The Best Resources & Tools

CAROLE AND NADIM SAAD, CO-FOUNDERS OF BEST OF PARENTING

As the parents of three children, struggling like so many others to find a balanced and effective parenting style, we turned away from all the parenting fads and studied the hard scientific evidence on what really works. The techniques we learnt were so life changing, yet so straightforward, that we made it our mission to convert them into powerful step by step tools and make them available to parents world over. Read more about the philosophy behind Best of Parenting.

Sharing The Best Resources & Tools

CAROLE AND NADIM SAAD, CO-FOUNDERS OF BEST OF PARENTING

As the parents of three children, struggling like so many others to find a balanced and effective parenting style, we turned away from all the parenting fads and studied the hard scientific evidence on what really works. The techniques we learnt were so life changing, yet so straightforward, that we made it our mission to convert them into powerful step by step tools and make them available to parents world over. Read more about the philosophy behind Best of Parenting.

Taking too long to do everything

January 2nd, 2014 | 3 to 6 years | Morning | Short Tips and Quotes |

Dawdling or procrastination, call it what you will, all children are masters at it. Particularly when getting ready in the morning and when we are in a hurry. Shouting may help but this is usually at the expense of our relationship with our children and is unlikely to change this behavior. So what should we do instead to get the show on the road?

Here is a sample of some of our easy and effective tools for solving this issue

This works really well:

GIVE A CHOICE

  • Rather than barking instructions at our children, we can suggest that they become involved in what they are doing. The easiest way to do this is to  ask them to make a decision about what they’d like to do next.
  • For example: “Would you like to make your bed first or would you rather brush your hair?”
  • Engaging children in decision making is a great way of putting children in ‘thinking mode’. When a child makes a choice he or she feels more in control over his or her life and therefore more invested in the task itself.
  • Remember to ask your children to  choose between two options that suit you.

Here is another suggestion:

“I” STATEMENTS

  • Gently tell your child what will be happening regardless of his or her procrastination.
  • For example. “My car leaves in 5 minutes and I take children to school dressed or not dressed”. It is important that the statement has a personal dimension and therefore begins with an “I” or a “we” or an “our”).
  • A non-negotiable statement like this lays down the law and sets a clear line in the sand. Which is why it is important that you choose a statement that you are able to enforce.

Then you could try:

PLAN AHEAD

  • Work out a routine with your child that describes, and even illustrates, each activity before hand.
  • A step by step ‘schedule’ acts as a useful reference point and aide memoire.
  • The beauty of such a plan is that it becomes the  “boss” rather than you.

 

These are just a few examples of our Best of Parenting Tools. You can find more ideas and solutions to typical parenting challenges in our book ‘Kids Don’t Come With a Manual – The Essential Guide to a Happy Family Life‘. 

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  1. Ben
    -  8 years ago

    The choice one is pretty neat, but the leaving dressed or not is better than saying “I’m going to leave you!” Just realized that is an empty threat and makes my kid sad 🙁

    • Best of Parenting
      -  8 years ago

      Thanks for your comment. You seem to Be referring to the I Statement ‘I take children to school dressed or not dressed’? Although this is to leave for extreme cases, it is in no way supposed to be an empty threat: if you say this, you are supposed to carry it away and take your kids to school with whatever clothes they’re wearing. We actually implemented this and our child got dressed in the car on the way to school. This example will be published in the 2nd edition of Kids Don’t Come With a Manual, coming out in 2017. One important thing to note is that your child being sad may happen, and that’s ok. As long as you’ve implemented our ‘tools’ without anger, you’re teaching them that sometimes they will disappointed and frustrated and that’s fine. As we say: ‘short term pain, long term gain!’. Let us know if we can help in any other way.

Related articles:

Taking too long to do everything

January 2nd, 2014 | 3 to 6 years | Morning |

Dawdling or procrastination, call it what you will, all children are masters at it. Particularly when getting ready in the morning and when we are in a hurry. Shouting may help but this is usually at the expense of our relationship with our children and is unlikely to change this behavior. So what should we do instead to get the show on the road?

Here is a sample of some of our easy and effective tools for solving this issue

This works really well:

GIVE A CHOICE

  • Rather than barking instructions at our children, we can suggest that they become involved in what they are doing. The easiest way to do this is to  ask them to make a decision about what they’d like to do next.
  • For example: “Would you like to make your bed first or would you rather brush your hair?”
  • Engaging children in decision making is a great way of putting children in ‘thinking mode’. When a child makes a choice he or she feels more in control over his or her life and therefore more invested in the task itself.
  • Remember to ask your children to  choose between two options that suit you.

Here is another suggestion:

“I” STATEMENTS

  • Gently tell your child what will be happening regardless of his or her procrastination.
  • For example. “My car leaves in 5 minutes and I take children to school dressed or not dressed”. It is important that the statement has a personal dimension and therefore begins with an “I” or a “we” or an “our”).
  • A non-negotiable statement like this lays down the law and sets a clear line in the sand. Which is why it is important that you choose a statement that you are able to enforce.

Then you could try:

PLAN AHEAD

  • Work out a routine with your child that describes, and even illustrates, each activity before hand.
  • A step by step ‘schedule’ acts as a useful reference point and aide memoire.
  • The beauty of such a plan is that it becomes the  “boss” rather than you.

 

These are just a few examples of our Best of Parenting Tools. You can find more ideas and solutions to typical parenting challenges in our book ‘Kids Don’t Come With a Manual – The Essential Guide to a Happy Family Life‘. 

Loading...

Taking too long to do everything

January 2nd, 2014 | 3 to 6 years | Morning | Short Tips and Quotes |

Dawdling or procrastination, call it what you will, all children are masters at it. Particularly when getting ready in the morning and when we are in a hurry. Shouting may help but this is usually at the expense of our relationship with our children and is unlikely to change this behavior. So what should we do instead to get the show on the road?

Here is a sample of some of our easy and effective tools for solving this issue

This works really well:

GIVE A CHOICE

  • Rather than barking instructions at our children, we can suggest that they become involved in what they are doing. The easiest way to do this is to  ask them to make a decision about what they’d like to do next.
  • For example: “Would you like to make your bed first or would you rather brush your hair?”
  • Engaging children in decision making is a great way of putting children in ‘thinking mode’. When a child makes a choice he or she feels more in control over his or her life and therefore more invested in the task itself.
  • Remember to ask your children to  choose between two options that suit you.

Here is another suggestion:

“I” STATEMENTS

  • Gently tell your child what will be happening regardless of his or her procrastination.
  • For example. “My car leaves in 5 minutes and I take children to school dressed or not dressed”. It is important that the statement has a personal dimension and therefore begins with an “I” or a “we” or an “our”).
  • A non-negotiable statement like this lays down the law and sets a clear line in the sand. Which is why it is important that you choose a statement that you are able to enforce.

Then you could try:

PLAN AHEAD

  • Work out a routine with your child that describes, and even illustrates, each activity before hand.
  • A step by step ‘schedule’ acts as a useful reference point and aide memoire.
  • The beauty of such a plan is that it becomes the  “boss” rather than you.

 

These are just a few examples of our Best of Parenting Tools. You can find more ideas and solutions to typical parenting challenges in our book ‘Kids Don’t Come With a Manual – The Essential Guide to a Happy Family Life‘. 

Loading...
  1. Ben
    -  8 years ago

    The choice one is pretty neat, but the leaving dressed or not is better than saying “I’m going to leave you!” Just realized that is an empty threat and makes my kid sad 🙁

    • Best of Parenting
      -  8 years ago

      Thanks for your comment. You seem to Be referring to the I Statement ‘I take children to school dressed or not dressed’? Although this is to leave for extreme cases, it is in no way supposed to be an empty threat: if you say this, you are supposed to carry it away and take your kids to school with whatever clothes they’re wearing. We actually implemented this and our child got dressed in the car on the way to school. This example will be published in the 2nd edition of Kids Don’t Come With a Manual, coming out in 2017. One important thing to note is that your child being sad may happen, and that’s ok. As long as you’ve implemented our ‘tools’ without anger, you’re teaching them that sometimes they will disappointed and frustrated and that’s fine. As we say: ‘short term pain, long term gain!’. Let us know if we can help in any other way.

Related articles: