Sharing The Best Resources & Tools

CAROLE AND NADIM SAAD, CO-FOUNDERS OF BEST OF PARENTING

As the parents of three children, struggling like so many others to find a balanced and effective parenting style, we turned away from all the parenting fads and studied the hard scientific evidence on what really works. The techniques we learnt were so life changing, yet so straightforward, that we made it our mission to convert them into powerful step by step tools and make them available to parents world over. Read more about the philosophy behind Best of Parenting.

Sharing The Best Resources & Tools

CAROLE AND NADIM SAAD, CO-FOUNDERS OF BEST OF PARENTING

As the parents of three children, struggling like so many others to find a balanced and effective parenting style, we turned away from all the parenting fads and studied the hard scientific evidence on what really works. The techniques we learnt were so life changing, yet so straightforward, that we made it our mission to convert them into powerful step by step tools and make them available to parents world over. Read more about the philosophy behind Best of Parenting.

Refusing to follow house rules

January 4th, 2014 | Defiance | 3 to 6 years | Short Tips and Quotes |

Rules and limits are important guidelines for our children, yet spells of defiance, including rule ‘breaking’ and ‘testing the boundaries’ are totally normal in their lives. The methods we use for applying and ‘enforcing’ these rules lies at the heart of a good family life. And children need to understand why rules are there in order to respect them.

Here is a sample of some of our easy and effective tools for solving this issue

This works really well:

SET A RULE:

  • Limits are essential for our children but they need to be set in a non-confrontational way.
  • We should set rules using the third person (making them sound less like reprimands).
  • Example: “The new house rule is: children who want to eat have to stay seated at the table.”
  • Try to set the rule with empathy (and ideally not during a confrontation with your child!).
  • Explain why the rule is there.
  • Ask your child(ren) to repeat the new rule.

Here is another suggestion:

“I FEEL” MESSAGE:

  • Try to let your child know how you feel without blaming or shaming.
  • Eg. tell your child “It upsets me when you break our family rules, I wonder how you would feel if I broke your rules?”
  • Your child will begin to appreciate that his or her behaviour has an effect on others, which in turn has an effect on him or her.

Then you could try:

LOGICAL CONSEQUENCES:

  • If/when our child knowingly breaks a rule, we can then apply a related “consequence” with empathy.
  • Enforcing logical consequences shows our children that rules are there to be respected, not rubbished.
  • For example “This is so sad, dinner is over for you” (used if your child is constantly getting up from the table while you’ve agreed that children who want to eat have to stay seated)
  • This tool may initially get a strong reaction from your children, but after a while they will understand why rules are there to be followed.

 

These are just a few examples of our Best of Parenting Tools. You can find more ideas and solutions to typical parenting challenges in our book ‘Kids Don’t Come With a Manual – The Essential Guide to a Happy Family Life‘. 

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Refusing to follow house rules

January 4th, 2014 | Defiance | 3 to 6 years |

Rules and limits are important guidelines for our children, yet spells of defiance, including rule ‘breaking’ and ‘testing the boundaries’ are totally normal in their lives. The methods we use for applying and ‘enforcing’ these rules lies at the heart of a good family life. And children need to understand why rules are there in order to respect them.

Here is a sample of some of our easy and effective tools for solving this issue

This works really well:

SET A RULE:

  • Limits are essential for our children but they need to be set in a non-confrontational way.
  • We should set rules using the third person (making them sound less like reprimands).
  • Example: “The new house rule is: children who want to eat have to stay seated at the table.”
  • Try to set the rule with empathy (and ideally not during a confrontation with your child!).
  • Explain why the rule is there.
  • Ask your child(ren) to repeat the new rule.

Here is another suggestion:

“I FEEL” MESSAGE:

  • Try to let your child know how you feel without blaming or shaming.
  • Eg. tell your child “It upsets me when you break our family rules, I wonder how you would feel if I broke your rules?”
  • Your child will begin to appreciate that his or her behaviour has an effect on others, which in turn has an effect on him or her.

Then you could try:

LOGICAL CONSEQUENCES:

  • If/when our child knowingly breaks a rule, we can then apply a related “consequence” with empathy.
  • Enforcing logical consequences shows our children that rules are there to be respected, not rubbished.
  • For example “This is so sad, dinner is over for you” (used if your child is constantly getting up from the table while you’ve agreed that children who want to eat have to stay seated)
  • This tool may initially get a strong reaction from your children, but after a while they will understand why rules are there to be followed.

 

These are just a few examples of our Best of Parenting Tools. You can find more ideas and solutions to typical parenting challenges in our book ‘Kids Don’t Come With a Manual – The Essential Guide to a Happy Family Life‘. 

Loading...

Refusing to follow house rules

January 4th, 2014 | Defiance | 3 to 6 years | Short Tips and Quotes |

Rules and limits are important guidelines for our children, yet spells of defiance, including rule ‘breaking’ and ‘testing the boundaries’ are totally normal in their lives. The methods we use for applying and ‘enforcing’ these rules lies at the heart of a good family life. And children need to understand why rules are there in order to respect them.

Here is a sample of some of our easy and effective tools for solving this issue

This works really well:

SET A RULE:

  • Limits are essential for our children but they need to be set in a non-confrontational way.
  • We should set rules using the third person (making them sound less like reprimands).
  • Example: “The new house rule is: children who want to eat have to stay seated at the table.”
  • Try to set the rule with empathy (and ideally not during a confrontation with your child!).
  • Explain why the rule is there.
  • Ask your child(ren) to repeat the new rule.

Here is another suggestion:

“I FEEL” MESSAGE:

  • Try to let your child know how you feel without blaming or shaming.
  • Eg. tell your child “It upsets me when you break our family rules, I wonder how you would feel if I broke your rules?”
  • Your child will begin to appreciate that his or her behaviour has an effect on others, which in turn has an effect on him or her.

Then you could try:

LOGICAL CONSEQUENCES:

  • If/when our child knowingly breaks a rule, we can then apply a related “consequence” with empathy.
  • Enforcing logical consequences shows our children that rules are there to be respected, not rubbished.
  • For example “This is so sad, dinner is over for you” (used if your child is constantly getting up from the table while you’ve agreed that children who want to eat have to stay seated)
  • This tool may initially get a strong reaction from your children, but after a while they will understand why rules are there to be followed.

 

These are just a few examples of our Best of Parenting Tools. You can find more ideas and solutions to typical parenting challenges in our book ‘Kids Don’t Come With a Manual – The Essential Guide to a Happy Family Life‘. 

Loading...
Related articles: