Most children are reluctant to go to school at some point in their early lives. Indeed most of us parents have memories of trying to get out of a school day that we didn’t want to face. The important thing in these situations is to understand why your child is suddenly reluctant without putting your child under pressure (as otherwise you might not get an answer!).

Here is a sample of some of our easy and effective tools for solving this issue

This really works:

ACTIVE AND REFLECTIVE LISTENING

• Make sure that your child knows that you are in a listening mood and gently ask why s/he doesn’t want to go to school.
• For example “It looks like you aren’t feeling happy about going to school. Might you be worrying about the teachers, the children or just the school itself?”
• When your child has given his or her reasons, make sure that he or she knows that you have understood by repeating back his or her answers – and maybe adding your interpretation.
• For example: ‘So it seems you have a tough time with your maths class, which is making you dread school?”

Here is another suggestion:

GENERATING SOLUTIONS

• At a later time or date when you both feel relaxed ask your child to talk in more depth about how going to school, as well as school life and school work, makes him or her feel.
• Again reflect back what you are hearing and then ask what would make going to school easier.
• It’s best if we encourage our children to be the first to generate these solutions rather than suggesting them ourselves. Putting children in control of their decisions is an excellent way of encouraging them  to feel confident in their own ‘trouble shooting’ abilities.

These are just a few examples of our Best of Parenting Tools. You can find more ideas and solutions to typical parenting challenges in our book ‘Kids Don’t Come With a Manual – The Essential Guide to a Happy Family Life‘.