Sharing The Best Resources & Tools

CAROLE AND NADIM SAAD, CO-FOUNDERS OF BEST OF PARENTING

As the parents of three children, struggling like so many others to find a balanced and effective parenting style, we turned away from all the parenting fads and studied the hard scientific evidence on what really works. The techniques we learnt were so life changing, yet so straightforward, that we made it our mission to convert them into powerful step by step tools and make them available to parents world over. Read more about the philosophy behind Best of Parenting.

Sharing The Best Resources & Tools

CAROLE AND NADIM SAAD, CO-FOUNDERS OF BEST OF PARENTING

As the parents of three children, struggling like so many others to find a balanced and effective parenting style, we turned away from all the parenting fads and studied the hard scientific evidence on what really works. The techniques we learnt were so life changing, yet so straightforward, that we made it our mission to convert them into powerful step by step tools and make them available to parents world over. Read more about the philosophy behind Best of Parenting.

How to be a better parent

January 14th, 2014 | Article | 3 to 6 years | Awareness

Congratulations to the Times for publishing a fascinating article on how to be a better parent last Saturday (January 11th), which very much shares Best of Parenting‘s ethos. Entitled ‘The therapist’s rules for families: no nagging, no shouting, more hugs’ the article offered a number of very helpful new year’s resolutions for a better family life, all of  which we fully embrace within our own work with family’s and on our website. Unfortunately the Times has a pay wall so you won’t be able to access the article unless you have an account with them. However, here follows our summary of the main points raised within it by two family therapists (Jean-Claude Chalmet and Caryn Nuttall) :

1 – We shouldn’t bully our children by putting too much pressure on them. If we are trying to force them to climb ever higher up the scale of success we should question our own motives. Are we trying to get them to replicate our own success story, or do we want them to compensate for what we ourselves have failed to achieve. Rather than being a product to be moulded, a child is a sensitive and vulnerable real life human who will flourish if  given the  nurturing that comes from unconditional love and respect for their individuality.

Best of Parenting comment: This does not mean that we need to have little ambition for our children. We can help them excel in everything they do, but it’s is all about how we do it without affecting negatively their personality. We will be writing more about this soon. 

2. Trust your children to learn from their mistakes rather than growing up to fear failure.

3. When you argue in front of your children, make sure that you treat each other with respect. If children are able to watch their parents reason through their disagreements they will learn a valuable lesson in managing their own feelings and desires.

4. Rather than resorting to shouting at your children, try to explain why you want them to do something or behave in a particular way.

5. Encourage your children to do things for themselves, rather than doing everything for them.

6. Don’t ‘box’ your children by giving them labels.

7, If one of your  children is sensitive or vulnerable, give him or her the extra attention and support that he or she needs.

8. Don’t be afraid to show affection towards your partner in front of your children, provided it is not overtly sexual your children will benefit from  witnessing a real relationship rather than the idealised or objectified version offered by much of the media.

9. Don’t ask your children to split their loyalties between you and your spouse/partner, whether you are still together or separated. Try to present yourselves as a united front, offering help to your child as a team working together.

10. Schedule in some special time – children naturally crave parental attention, but in a busy world  it’s easy to overlook the need for dedicated quality time with each child.

11. Don’t try to be perfect, even if perfection was possible it would not necessarily be desirable.

13. Don’t try to make your children perfect either, children need to express themselves, sometimes this self expression can be rowdy, ‘naughty’ and even rebellious.

14. Don’t be a martyr (ie. do too much for your children and your family at the expense of your own well being)- it offers children a poor role model and they won’t thank you for it.

15. Share a joke with the family, laughter is the best cure, and often jokes at the parents expense (provided they are respectful) are the best way of breaking the ice and learning to relax as a family.

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How to be a better parent

January 14th, 2014 | Article | 3 to 6 years | Awareness

Congratulations to the Times for publishing a fascinating article on how to be a better parent last Saturday (January 11th), which very much shares Best of Parenting‘s ethos. Entitled ‘The therapist’s rules for families: no nagging, no shouting, more hugs’ the article offered a number of very helpful new year’s resolutions for a better family life, all of  which we fully embrace within our own work with family’s and on our website. Unfortunately the Times has a pay wall so you won’t be able to access the article unless you have an account with them. However, here follows our summary of the main points raised within it by two family therapists (Jean-Claude Chalmet and Caryn Nuttall) :

1 – We shouldn’t bully our children by putting too much pressure on them. If we are trying to force them to climb ever higher up the scale of success we should question our own motives. Are we trying to get them to replicate our own success story, or do we want them to compensate for what we ourselves have failed to achieve. Rather than being a product to be moulded, a child is a sensitive and vulnerable real life human who will flourish if  given the  nurturing that comes from unconditional love and respect for their individuality.

Best of Parenting comment: This does not mean that we need to have little ambition for our children. We can help them excel in everything they do, but it’s is all about how we do it without affecting negatively their personality. We will be writing more about this soon. 

2. Trust your children to learn from their mistakes rather than growing up to fear failure.

3. When you argue in front of your children, make sure that you treat each other with respect. If children are able to watch their parents reason through their disagreements they will learn a valuable lesson in managing their own feelings and desires.

4. Rather than resorting to shouting at your children, try to explain why you want them to do something or behave in a particular way.

5. Encourage your children to do things for themselves, rather than doing everything for them.

6. Don’t ‘box’ your children by giving them labels.

7, If one of your  children is sensitive or vulnerable, give him or her the extra attention and support that he or she needs.

8. Don’t be afraid to show affection towards your partner in front of your children, provided it is not overtly sexual your children will benefit from  witnessing a real relationship rather than the idealised or objectified version offered by much of the media.

9. Don’t ask your children to split their loyalties between you and your spouse/partner, whether you are still together or separated. Try to present yourselves as a united front, offering help to your child as a team working together.

10. Schedule in some special time – children naturally crave parental attention, but in a busy world  it’s easy to overlook the need for dedicated quality time with each child.

11. Don’t try to be perfect, even if perfection was possible it would not necessarily be desirable.

13. Don’t try to make your children perfect either, children need to express themselves, sometimes this self expression can be rowdy, ‘naughty’ and even rebellious.

14. Don’t be a martyr (ie. do too much for your children and your family at the expense of your own well being)- it offers children a poor role model and they won’t thank you for it.

15. Share a joke with the family, laughter is the best cure, and often jokes at the parents expense (provided they are respectful) are the best way of breaking the ice and learning to relax as a family.

Loading...

How to be a better parent

January 14th, 2014 | Article | 3 to 6 years | Awareness

Congratulations to the Times for publishing a fascinating article on how to be a better parent last Saturday (January 11th), which very much shares Best of Parenting‘s ethos. Entitled ‘The therapist’s rules for families: no nagging, no shouting, more hugs’ the article offered a number of very helpful new year’s resolutions for a better family life, all of  which we fully embrace within our own work with family’s and on our website. Unfortunately the Times has a pay wall so you won’t be able to access the article unless you have an account with them. However, here follows our summary of the main points raised within it by two family therapists (Jean-Claude Chalmet and Caryn Nuttall) :

1 – We shouldn’t bully our children by putting too much pressure on them. If we are trying to force them to climb ever higher up the scale of success we should question our own motives. Are we trying to get them to replicate our own success story, or do we want them to compensate for what we ourselves have failed to achieve. Rather than being a product to be moulded, a child is a sensitive and vulnerable real life human who will flourish if  given the  nurturing that comes from unconditional love and respect for their individuality.

Best of Parenting comment: This does not mean that we need to have little ambition for our children. We can help them excel in everything they do, but it’s is all about how we do it without affecting negatively their personality. We will be writing more about this soon. 

2. Trust your children to learn from their mistakes rather than growing up to fear failure.

3. When you argue in front of your children, make sure that you treat each other with respect. If children are able to watch their parents reason through their disagreements they will learn a valuable lesson in managing their own feelings and desires.

4. Rather than resorting to shouting at your children, try to explain why you want them to do something or behave in a particular way.

5. Encourage your children to do things for themselves, rather than doing everything for them.

6. Don’t ‘box’ your children by giving them labels.

7, If one of your  children is sensitive or vulnerable, give him or her the extra attention and support that he or she needs.

8. Don’t be afraid to show affection towards your partner in front of your children, provided it is not overtly sexual your children will benefit from  witnessing a real relationship rather than the idealised or objectified version offered by much of the media.

9. Don’t ask your children to split their loyalties between you and your spouse/partner, whether you are still together or separated. Try to present yourselves as a united front, offering help to your child as a team working together.

10. Schedule in some special time – children naturally crave parental attention, but in a busy world  it’s easy to overlook the need for dedicated quality time with each child.

11. Don’t try to be perfect, even if perfection was possible it would not necessarily be desirable.

13. Don’t try to make your children perfect either, children need to express themselves, sometimes this self expression can be rowdy, ‘naughty’ and even rebellious.

14. Don’t be a martyr (ie. do too much for your children and your family at the expense of your own well being)- it offers children a poor role model and they won’t thank you for it.

15. Share a joke with the family, laughter is the best cure, and often jokes at the parents expense (provided they are respectful) are the best way of breaking the ice and learning to relax as a family.

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