We all want our children to have good table manners. The secret to successfully getting the message across lies in less criticism and more modeling by showing them how it’s done.
Here is a sample of some of our easy and effective tools for solving this issue
This works really well:
SPEND TIME EATING WITH YOUR CHILDREN:
- Try and have as many meals together as a family.
- The number one rule for learning good table manners is through watching others ‘modelling’ (aka leading by example) good behaviour.
- It is not always easy or possible to share mealtimes together, but when we do we should try to use the opportunity to discuss, in a fun kind of way, why table manners are important.
Here is another suggestion:
“I” STATEMENT:
- For example: “I serve dessert to children who eat without spilling food”.
- Making an effective “I” statement depends upon being aware of what we are able to control versus what you would like to control.
- Our “I” statement should always start with “I” or “my” (and if speaking for the family or couple, it starts with “we” or “our”).
- Making a ‘rule’ or ‘statement’ like this offers children a very clear guideline which they can take on board, and then use as a rule of thumb in similar situations.
Then you could try:
SET A RULE
- A New Rule needs to be set respectfully in the third person and with a positive spin.
- For example: “We like people at this table people to eat with their mouth shut”.
- We should only use one rule at a time.
- Setting a Rule works because rather than sounding like a reprimand it sets a gold standard for all family members.
These are just a few examples of our Best of Parenting Tools. You can find more ideas and solutions to typical parenting challenges in our book ‘Kids Don’t Come With a Manual – The Essential Guide to a Happy Family Life‘.