Clinginess & Separation anxiety

December 15th, 2013 | 3 to 6 years | Short Tips and Quotes | Whining

When we find ourselves trying to peel a clingy child from our leg it’s easy to despair and give up. But with the right pinch of the ‘magic’ that is empathy it is usually possible to reassure our children into agreeing to be left in the charge of a trusted carer.

Here is a sample of some of our easy and effective tools for solving this issue

This works really well:

EMPATHY AND VALIDATION:

  • Listen to your child’s protestations and then reflect back to him or her what you are hearing.
  • For example: “I can see that you feel a bit scared by this new situation, I used to feel like that too myself when I went somewhere for the first time”.

Here is another suggestion:

SPECIAL TIME:

  • Sometimes our children’s clinginess is due to their feeling that they are not spending enough “quality time” with us.
  • Try offering a bit of ‘Special Time’ to them, ie. dedicated ‘one-to-one’ time between you and your child.
  • Give them a (limited) choice of what you could do together, for eg. read a story, or walk together outside, or take a bicycle ride, etc…
  • This really works if you give your child this special time regularly. For smaller children, it can be 10mn a day. For older children, you should spend more time with them (at least 30mn) but you can do it once or twice a week.

 

These are just a few examples of our Best of Parenting Tools. You can find more ideas and solutions to typical parenting challenges in our book ‘Kids Don’t Come With a Manual – The Essential Guide to a Happy Family Life‘. 

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Clinginess & Separation anxiety

December 15th, 2013 | 3 to 6 years | Whining

When we find ourselves trying to peel a clingy child from our leg it’s easy to despair and give up. But with the right pinch of the ‘magic’ that is empathy it is usually possible to reassure our children into agreeing to be left in the charge of a trusted carer.

Here is a sample of some of our easy and effective tools for solving this issue

This works really well:

EMPATHY AND VALIDATION:

  • Listen to your child’s protestations and then reflect back to him or her what you are hearing.
  • For example: “I can see that you feel a bit scared by this new situation, I used to feel like that too myself when I went somewhere for the first time”.

Here is another suggestion:

SPECIAL TIME:

  • Sometimes our children’s clinginess is due to their feeling that they are not spending enough “quality time” with us.
  • Try offering a bit of ‘Special Time’ to them, ie. dedicated ‘one-to-one’ time between you and your child.
  • Give them a (limited) choice of what you could do together, for eg. read a story, or walk together outside, or take a bicycle ride, etc…
  • This really works if you give your child this special time regularly. For smaller children, it can be 10mn a day. For older children, you should spend more time with them (at least 30mn) but you can do it once or twice a week.

 

These are just a few examples of our Best of Parenting Tools. You can find more ideas and solutions to typical parenting challenges in our book ‘Kids Don’t Come With a Manual – The Essential Guide to a Happy Family Life‘. 

Loading...

Clinginess & Separation anxiety

December 15th, 2013 | 3 to 6 years | Short Tips and Quotes | Whining

When we find ourselves trying to peel a clingy child from our leg it’s easy to despair and give up. But with the right pinch of the ‘magic’ that is empathy it is usually possible to reassure our children into agreeing to be left in the charge of a trusted carer.

Here is a sample of some of our easy and effective tools for solving this issue

This works really well:

EMPATHY AND VALIDATION:

  • Listen to your child’s protestations and then reflect back to him or her what you are hearing.
  • For example: “I can see that you feel a bit scared by this new situation, I used to feel like that too myself when I went somewhere for the first time”.

Here is another suggestion:

SPECIAL TIME:

  • Sometimes our children’s clinginess is due to their feeling that they are not spending enough “quality time” with us.
  • Try offering a bit of ‘Special Time’ to them, ie. dedicated ‘one-to-one’ time between you and your child.
  • Give them a (limited) choice of what you could do together, for eg. read a story, or walk together outside, or take a bicycle ride, etc…
  • This really works if you give your child this special time regularly. For smaller children, it can be 10mn a day. For older children, you should spend more time with them (at least 30mn) but you can do it once or twice a week.

 

These are just a few examples of our Best of Parenting Tools. You can find more ideas and solutions to typical parenting challenges in our book ‘Kids Don’t Come With a Manual – The Essential Guide to a Happy Family Life‘. 

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Related articles: