Getting children to listen to what we say and do as we ask can be challenging at times to say the least! Try using these four simple strategies to reduce conflict and power struggles and enjoy a more harmonious family life:

Use positive language as much as possible

Whenever your child asks for something that they can’t have, rather than simply saying “No, you can’t”, try to phrase it positively by telling them what they can do instead. So if they ask for an ice cream before dinner instead of “No,it’s not time for ice cream now!”, try “You can have an ice cream right after we finish dinner.”

Make rules and expectations clear

Kids behave much better when they know exactly what is expected of them so it’s important to be clear and consistent when it comes to rules and boundaries.
When there’s something that we need our kids to do that they don’t have a say in, state it clearly, eg. “I need you to stick close to me because the supermarket is very busy today”.

And if kids break a rule at anytime, then tell them exactly why their behaviour is unacceptable and tell them how you expect them to behave e.g. “Playing with the football in the house is not ok because you might break something, in this family we play with the football outside”.

Offer a choice to change their behaviour

When kids misbehave, it’s important to give them an opportunity to change their behaviour. For example “I can see that you are teasing your sister, you can choose to either play nicely or go and play with something else.” If they still persist in their behaviour then you can make the choice for them (e.g. separate them from their sibling).