One of the most important ways to make family life more enjoyable and less stressful is to pre-empt and prevent power struggle from occurring, by being more ‘conscious’ and ‘strategic’ in our approach to parenting.

Indeed, we enter into a power struggle with our children often without realising it, only to find ourselves involved in a battle of wills, which can only be ‘resolved’ when a winner or loser has been declared . Often, the more desperate a parent becomes to get a child to comply, the more resistant the child grows. And if we do eventually get our way, the victory may well be a false one because when children are forced to do something they don’t want to do, they usually focus more on their anger towards their parent rather than being open to learn a lesson. And if it is the parent who ‘loses’ the struggle and gives in to their child’s demand, their child will walk away with the mistaken belief that such battles are a way to get what one wants in life. In other words, there are no real winners in a power struggle between parent and child; there are only losers.

The solution lies in recognising that ‘it takes two to tango’. As with all forms of communication, a power struggle can only exist when both parties are involved in trying to wrestle control from the other. Children will soon give up trying to enter into a power struggle if they discover that their parents are not prepared to enter into the argument with them. Becoming more ‘conscious’ and ‘strategic’ and applying techniques to improve your parenting skills would go a long way towards achieving this goal.

To find tools and solutions to typical parenting challenges and to become a more conscious parent, read our book ‘Kids Don’t Come With a Manual – The Essential Guide to a Happy Family Life‘.